Today would have

been a big day if I hadn’t been muslim. The big 4 0 is a time people  sweat over, like a one way ride over a bridge of no return! I don’t celebrate birthdays and have never celebrated them since I turned muslim almost exactly 17 years ago (gulp) alhamdulileh. In fact I am so used to not celebrating birthdays that I forget it is even my birthday unless someone reminds me, which someone from my familly usually does, by send me a cryptic message something like ‘may sunday bring you many blessings’. Well I guess its not a direct happy birthday!

  I wasn’t really fearful of this day. I mean we all get older,more wrinkley, grey haired, gain a few pounds and maybe lose a few brain cells! But this is the cycle of life. I was however surprised when having my morning tea to find myself feeling a little melancholic. I sat thinking about that feeling and had a though that if I had an average lifespan then I was over half way there. That wasn’t a nice thought. A wave of fear over swept as I came face to face with the innevitable and only certainty that we have in this life. That we are all going to die. What will my grave be like? What is written for me in the hereafter? Oh yeah Allah, save us from the punishment of the grave and the punishment of th next life! Keep us in your shade on that terrible day when or deeds will be measured. Keep us on the straight path in this life, and guide our children to it. Oh Allah keep that reality of death in our minds that we may work towards earning your forgiveness ameen, yaaa rab il ‘alameen.

Don’t they look

gorgeous?

Of course back home we are more used to seeing strawberries in June then March. But they are very welcome and a delicious sign that spring is in the air. These are one of my favourite things masha’allah.

The children are now into their spring holidays from school so a busy couple of weeks ahead and lots of cries of I’m bored no doubt. Insha’allah I will be finding some on line ways of keeping the younger members of my brood occupied, I’ve gone past trying with the teens nothing seems ot interest them. Though a friend has very kindly invited my three big boys to spend some of the holidyas with her boys, so the entertaining will be passed over(very willingly too)!

And for me? well I have started some crochet for next winter for my two little girls, also some sewing in the air. A curtain to cover some mess in my kitchen, those never ending repairs and hopefully with that promise of spring some light tops for the warmer weather bi’ithnileh!

And best of all the much anticipated arrival of my mum and her husband, who we haven’t seen for far too long.

Wishing you all a pleasant, positive and productive spring.

Do you ever

feel that life is just one big battle? A constant round of shouting, frustrations, qaurelling children  and needless arguements?

YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!

I guess its the down side of motherhood for me and many other mums around the globe. I’m pretty sure ts universal, the sibling rivalries, the jealousy and a stressed mum trying to keep everyone in order!

Of course there is much joy too, the snuggles and cuddles. The giggles and out right laughs. The companionship and even love every once in a while.

and of course there’s nothing like a little helper to speed you through your chores! The peas are beautiful though in their vibrant green, along with the bright red strawberries that are now also coming into the markets we can see that spring is insha’allah just around the corner!

a bit of joy

has come into the house with a simple package from back home.  My new camera has arrived Masha’allah so I have been a bit busy experimenting with it. My results aren’t fabulous  YET. But I am enjoying working on it!

I have also been working on my first crochet cardigan for my baby girl, which I was pretty pleased with alhamdulileh. One with the result and secondly because I actually finished before it was too warm to wear it(or too small). In fact I am even thinking about my next project!

this has been

a long time coming.  I’m doing a lot of lurking these days. I am unmotivated at the moment.  The only thing I am doing are those essentials that never go away food and clothing! If it hasn’t fit into one of those 2 essentials I just can’t seem to do it! Many would call me a slob, many would call me lazy, I am simply not interested at the moment!

It’s probably apparent that I’m not sure where this blog post is going, and quite frankly, if I don’t know, I can’t expect anyone else to! Its starting like one of my low inspiration dinners, I start to chop an onion and see where it leads me………….

I do know its time for  change. And if Allah is not going to bring a change to our homelife then I have to bring one anyway, because there is only so long one can wallow ones days away in nothing before it becomes something more and subsequently more difficult to get out of.

February is hot on our heels, so its time to focus, before the rest of winter is lost in the blur and spring is upon us. Its a time to bring Quran back into our daily routine, to get the childrens reward charts going, to motivate the kids to study for exams,  and the most difficult bit to prise myself out of the cosy sanctuary of my kitchen and rinse away the cobwebs and dust from the rest of the house which is feeling decidedly unloved…………………..

eid cakes!

 and here they are, one of each on a plate!

my apologies for the awful blurred picture, it seems my phone camera has the blues and has gone into a coma!

so here are the recipies,

le tart,

2 eggs

250gm margerine

vanilla

250gm sugar

and enough SR flour to form a nice soft non sticky dough around 500gm

cream the sugar and margerine, add the eggs with flour and vanilla, working the flour in slowly.

roll out to approximately one cm thick and cut out making sure you have equal tops and bottoms! Bake in a moderate oven for a round 10 minutes, you dont want them to colour just cook!

when they are cool dust the tops with icing sugar and sandwhch to the bottom with jam, adding a little more jam into the centre hole.

Ghraybia

3 measures of plain flour

1 measure of icing sugar

1 measure of ghee

some oil

cinamon

wix the flour and icing sugar togathor and work in the melted ghee, slowly add oil and squish it togethor with your hands until it clumps up and you can work it into a ball. work into walnut size balls pinching the top up a little so it looks like an upside down mushroom, place on a greased tray and work all the ‘dough’ in this way. sprinkle a little cinaomn on the top of ech and bake in a moderate oven until the bottom has browned.

meshuwak

250gm margerine

150gm sugar

1/2 cup toasted sesame seeds

1 cup ground roasted peanuts,

vanila

4 egg yolks

enough SR flour enough to form a  dough

coarsly ground roasted peanuts

egg whites

glace cherries(i didnt use)

honey

cream the maregrine and sugar, add the eggs yolks and the other ingrediants and slowly add the flour to form a soft ough that you can handle and form into balls wihtout it sticking.

form into wlanut size balls and roll in the egg white and then nuts, placing a cherry on top of each cake.

Bake in amoderate oven for around 10 minutes they will puff up and feel firmer to the touch

put on a tray to cool and pur a spoonful of honey over each.

Makroot

three soup bowls of medium semolina

1 bowl of ghee with some oil melted

1 1/2 soups spoons of salt

dates or peanuts for the stuffing

rose water

water

honey

soak the seomlina(with salt mixed in) in the ghee (mix very well) and leave to soak for at least 4 hours.

add around 20 soup spoons of rosewater and mix well and then bring the semolina togethor to form a dough with the water. Take it slowly, it feels like its never gonna form a dough and then it suddenly does!

you will get a soft dough which falls apart quite easily. makes snakes of somolina dough and push a ridge into the middle of the snake with your finger and fill with your snake filling. Pull the tops over the filling and carefully roll it alittle to round it off and seal your makrout snake. cut into diaminds and put each makroot onto a tray.

when you have prepared them all caefully fry in hot oil(take it easy with them they are quite delicate!)

remove from theoil and soak for a little in honey warmed with some rose water inside. Some people prefer not to honey them until serving!

eid mubarak everyone. MAy Allah bless these days for you and make them fullfilling happy and blessed!

eid is almost upon us

and while it doesn’t seem 5 minutes since eid al fitr, it also feels like its been a life time.

  I never intended to stay away from this place so long, but Allah knows better! Its been a trial the past couple of months, and its not over yet. Life is hard sometimes, but with people dependant on you, you have no choice but to get up fighting. Alhamdulileh.

It hasn’t been all bad new friendships have been forged, hard times have a habit of showing those that you can depend on and while some may let you down it can bring out good from surprising places. Broken relationships mended and old ones strengthened. Life is full of trial and reward.

 Plans are on hold right now and life is definately been taken one day at a time.  Allah, subhana wa ta’ala says that after hardship comes ease. To any of my fellow sisters goinf through trials of their own, hold onto that promise of ease for as the saying goes, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and each day that passes we are coming closer to it bi ithni leh!

Ramadan is upon us

masha’allah!

We have done a hurried clean up, not our usual thorough clean so that we have lees housework to do in tjhis blessed month. Allah ghaleb! new babies and big houses are not condusive to have everything clean!

More improtant then cleaning though are Ramadan goals, they are going to be very simple for me this year and Khobz Khemir is not in there!

My main ambition will be to read half of the quran in Arabic and that means breaking it down into daily sections.

My second ambition is to start the sunnah prayers and that will be hopefully be something that stays after ramadan insha’allah.

 These are my two major goals, given that I have a 2 month old baby plus a toddler it would be foolish to give myself I huge task and fail miserably on everything!

I have yet to make a star chart for ds9,dd7 and ds5 so they can keep pregress of how many days they have fasted and to keep track of their prayers and good deeds etc. Insha’allah I will do that this evening or tomorrow.

The most difficult part may be staying calm………………………………………………….for a whole month………………………………………………………………………………..enough said!

Ramadan Mubarak to you all, May Allah bless us all and cleanse our sins this month and may we enter jennah from bab al Rayyan. Ameen.

isn’t it funny

how time slows down when you are waiting for something, and goes by at super speed when you have passed that day/hour/moment………..I have found myself in an nostalgic mood these days. I could blame it on hormones. But its probably just life and its phases. Counting the time and the years, realising that there are 7 years between each of my three girls and that that by the time baby reaches the age of dd7, dd14 will be 21 Insha’allah. How frightening was that realisation!? And then of course human emotions being what they are panic sets in………..its funny that I don’t really think so much of the time I was younger, I don’t really have a sentimental attatchment to the years gone by. But I am feeling sentimental for this period of my life, of being a mother with young children, of being so important to them, of that special closeness between a mother and her young children. And i feel fear that it is slipping away…………….Maybe I need therapy, My name is Claire, I am a babyaholic!  Maybe its the thought of turning 40 next year insha’allah!

Whatever the reason for these feelings, it serves as a daunting reminder that we won’t be here forever. And that the next life is waiting, and each year seems to pass so much faster than the last. And of course that all that will be waiting for us then will be our deeds. And everything else will be forgotten and irrelevant to us and everyone else.

So with these thoughts, I am wanting to focus my own thoughts to increasing those good deeds and purifying intentions for the things we do everyday that can also count to those good deeds. And to focus on fullfilling the responsibilities that we will be questioned about. So my first stop in getting back to basics is to get back to my quran, to improve my arabic recitation, to start memorising again. Baby steps first an ayat a week and increase from there. And of course with ramadan fast approaching it is the perfect time masha’allah!

it’s been

a while since i was last here. This is why………………..

born on the 6th of june, masha’allah. Alhamdulileh, the labour was swift, following the pattern of my last 3 children and recovery has so far been good masha’allah. Allah is indeed most merciful.

This little man has also been challenging to deal with. Though he loves the baby, she has of course altered the pattern of his routine. He hasn’t taken to kindly to sharing umi. I guess you can’t blame him, he is still a baby himself………..but in a few months he will have himself a playmate insha’allah and the trauma of sharing will be forgotten!