I know

I’ve been a bad blogger! time is flying by subhanallah . So many things happening, some good, some bad, some trying some lifting. Its that circle of life that never ends.

After a couple of days in  the fresh air of the countryside we were feeling refreshed. Lovely spring weather bronzing the childrens cheeks, with the freedom of country life. Picking wild vegetables, flowers and exploring new places. I don’t think there are many things much more relaxing masha’allah.

 Unfortunatley we hadnt even reached home after this lovely break when I received a call form my sister saying that dad was not really conscious and they didnt expect him to last the night. Having been aware of a thing for so long makes it slightly unreal when it happens.  But Allah’s qadr is the last word and he passed away that night. It threw me off track for a while. Not wanting to talk, not wanting to think, days going by in a blur with lots of staring into space and forgetting my focus. But Allah is merciful and eventually our minds fall back into place and we get up and go on. Insha’allah these events make us stronger and better. More appreciative of what we still have and of whats yet to come.

Goodbye dad.

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6 thoughts on “I know

  1. Assalaamu alaikum

    Inna Lillahi wa inna ilaihi raaji’oon.

    Sorry to read about this sis – I am sure it’s hard dealing with this when you know he was not muslim and when you are so far away. May Allah bring comfort and ease to your heart. xxx

  2. My dear sister, I’m shocked. Your post has brought tears to my eyes. Death is the only certain thing in life but it doesn’t make it any easier. I’m just shocked because, as I read the first part of your post, I actually felt the freshness in your words. Subhan Allah. It’s as if you’ve been tested and grieved and beginning to strengthen. I know it must be hard and I’ve scrolled back up a number of times to read your last line. I really feel for you. May Allah keep you strong and patient and bring you peace.

    • I suppose knowing that he has had this awful disease for many months helps you to prepare. Also being a muslim means that death is more of a reality to us and living in a muslim country shows the reality of it. A person dies here and thw whole community knows, where as in the west it is more covered and hidden. I was so shocked when my isster said the undertakers came to collect his body at 11pm, why were they so late? so that nobody see’s, was her reply! As a friend wrote to me explaining her fears for her own parents, she said its not that we fear them dying, for we are all going to die and its expected with old age. What is frigtening is the state they die in. I try not to focus on that, because it cannot help him now. And its too much for us left behind to think about.

      I guess also that having so many small people depending on me, makes you pick yourself up and carry on. They never knew their grandad, he always lived so far away. It has been a pretty lonely experience being away from home and surrounded by people who can’t understand. But Alhamdulileh for the duas of my sisters who can empathise, and of course Allah is the provider of strength, subhana wa ta’ala.

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