how time slows down when you are waiting for something, and goes by at super speed when you have passed that day/hour/moment………..I have found myself in an nostalgic mood these days. I could blame it on hormones. But its probably just life and its phases. Counting the time and the years, realising that there are 7 years between each of my three girls and that that by the time baby reaches the age of dd7, dd14 will be 21 Insha’allah. How frightening was that realisation!? And then of course human emotions being what they are panic sets in………..its funny that I don’t really think so much of the time I was younger, I don’t really have a sentimental attatchment to the years gone by. But I am feeling sentimental for this period of my life, of being a mother with young children, of being so important to them, of that special closeness between a mother and her young children. And i feel fear that it is slipping away…………….Maybe I need therapy, My name is Claire, I am a babyaholic! Maybe its the thought of turning 40 next year insha’allah!
Whatever the reason for these feelings, it serves as a daunting reminder that we won’t be here forever. And that the next life is waiting, and each year seems to pass so much faster than the last. And of course that all that will be waiting for us then will be our deeds. And everything else will be forgotten and irrelevant to us and everyone else.
So with these thoughts, I am wanting to focus my own thoughts to increasing those good deeds and purifying intentions for the things we do everyday that can also count to those good deeds. And to focus on fullfilling the responsibilities that we will be questioned about. So my first stop in getting back to basics is to get back to my quran, to improve my arabic recitation, to start memorising again. Baby steps first an ayat a week and increase from there. And of course with ramadan fast approaching it is the perfect time masha’allah!